Morton's Steakhouse

I love adorable waitstaff. They are the best. In fact, people who are reading this right now, if you work in a restaurant and you see me coming, just be a little bit adorable and I will be stuffing money in your pockets before long.

I also love the sound of your strange but delightful dinner. Were the cashew and sweet potato dumplings good? They sound really good.

I just came back from dinner at a place called Mortons Steakhouse. It would be fair to say that Morton's Steakhouse is not my kind of place. Firstly, they restaurant has a tagline, and that tagline is "The best steak, anywhere!". Really? Anywhere? I just don't see how that can be true.

My reservations were not helped by the fact that my waiter was not adorable at all, and was actually a little gross. He had a ponytail. A bad bad bad ponytail. I know, it was a ponytail, of course it was bad. But really, this was the worst. It was basically just a tiny little tuft of hair. In volume and quality, it looked like the brush from a tub of clag. Remember clag, everybody?

As if that wasn't bad enough, he brought over a tray containing various uncooked steaks, just to give us an indication of what they have on offer. Honestly. I think we all know what a porterhouse looks like. Keep it to yourself, guy.
Truth be told, the steak was really delicious. If I was tipping the cow, I would have given him/her 40% minimum. But I wasn't, so I didn't.
Now I'm watching Jay Leno and Andy from The Office is on.
I heart NY.