What the actual fuck (AM)

Croissants spooning*

Last week K and I went to La Lune Croissanterie. La Lune used to be a hole in the wall in Elwood, where this woman made and sold croissants, opening the shop four days a week at 7am and everything would be sold out by 9. People queued from 5am to get these croissants. Or so the story goes. People talked and wrote about these croissants like they were god's gift. But I didn't really buy it. How good could a croissant be? I mean, I love a good croissant but I could not imagine how these could be so much better that I'd have to wake up at stupid o'clock and stand in the cold for two hours. I didn't buy it for a second. That doesn't mean I didn't think about it from time to time, wonder if I was missing out on something great, if I was making a huge mistake, but basically I only get up at 5am to catch international flights, no way I was getting up at that time for croissant.

And then, a couple of weeks ago K asked me if I'd ever eaten a La Lune croissant. Of course I told her all the reasons I hadn't and probably never would but I started thinking again and wondering if things had changed, so I Googled it and it turned out things had changed quite a lot. La Lune had moved to Fitzroy into a large space where you'd probably still have to queue for a bit but you could buy a croissant at a reasonable hour. So of course we went. I mean, it is a five minute walk from my house and there's no big deal standing in a queue for 20 minutes with your bestie, it's just like sitting on a couch, but standing and with a croissant at the end. Totally doable.

Let me cut to the chase. We waited in queue for probably 20-30 mins and it was totally fine. K and I don't care where we are talking shit, we can do that anywhere. A customer came out of the shop and announced that they had sold out of plain croissants. Although I felt disappointed I also thought that maybe it was temporary and a plain croissant would still be mine. My position on croissants is that plain is king. A pain au chocolat is yummy and an almond croissant is great too, but I would never buy that if a plain was on offer and so K, who feels the same way, and I decided that if possible we would each get a plain croissant and then one sweetie to share.

We were delighted when it came time to order and we discovered that we could indeed order plain croissants, which we did along with a pecan pie twice cooked croissant - basically a pecan pie take on an almond croissant. But I'll tell you what was less delightful - the total average goodness of the croissant. It was fine. It was definitely not a bad croissant. It was a good croissant, but it absolutely, without any question was no better than a bunch of other good croissants I've had in this city. Which begs the question, why the fuck are people queuing up?! Surely a bunch, if not most people are just like K and me, they've heard about it, they want to try it, but why does this persist?! And do people go back for more? I don't know, but I know they shouldn't. Seriously, what are you queuing for?!?!?

To be fair, the pecan pie twice baked croissant was delicious. In a pretty special way. Like it was perfectly balanced with pecan, maple syrupy, caramelly flavours with equally well balanced soft, gooey, sticky crunchy texture. There is no denying that was really good, but I would just never, ever go out of my way to buy something like that. A plain croissant on the other hand, I've gone out of my way many, many, many times to buy a good one of those. My favourite is the cornetto from Sugardough. That is one special, buttery pastry. It is largish, for a croissant so it manages to have a lovely flaky outside and plenty of soft inside, it has this hint of orange flavour and a very slightly sweet glaze on the outside and I love it. It is my favourite croissant ever and I've often driven to Brunswick for no other reason than to buy that croissant. But I just wonder, what the actual fuck is going on with La Lune. I'm so happy to know that I'm not missing out on anything and that I'm totally justified in my loathing of food worship, but I just wish I knew what the fuck.


*Does anyone else find this croissant photo somewhat suggestive and slightly offensive? Thought so.