Obviously I know who Ryan Reynolds is. He's Van Wilder, party liaison.
And, as far as I understand, he is also the Green Lantern. But given I
have no idea how a lantern could be a superhero I don't rate that as a
thing. According to IMDb he is also a bunch of other dudes in a bunch of
other movies (56 of them!) none of which seem in the least bit
interesting, except possibly X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and that only
because of Taylor Kitsch and definitely not because of RyRey. Also Ted. But you
know a teddy bear and Marky Mark, who wouldn't be interested in that?
So why am I talking about this nobody of an actor? Well because idiot
just got in my brain after I saw his name on a magazine cover and it
infuriated me. Because why the fuck is this guy who is in nothing but
nothing movies, who is neither attractive nor charismatic, in popular
culture at all? Chicks!
I remember vividly when I heard he was engaged to Alanis Morissette. It
seemed so odd. She seemed so mature, what with all that anger, and he
was Van Wilder. But they are both Canadian so there was that. Then I
never thought about him, or her, again. Until out of the blue he married
Scarlett Johansson. So again, there he was in the magazines. This nobody who
I never even saw photographed with his 'wife', except in photos like this:
Then, surprise,
surprise, they break up and suddenly, again out of the blueberry he marries
Blake Lively! Who gives a shit? Although I guess after she broke up with
Penn Badgely and then was linked to Leonardo I wondered... oh never mind. Anyway in
the supermarket last night I saw BLives on the cover of some fashion
magazine with the line 'Blake Lively on blah, blah, and dating Ryan
Reynolds!' Has anyone in the world ever thought about what it would be
like to date RyRey? No, right? The answer can only be no. I wish those ladies of
Hollywood would stop marrying that guy so he could get the hell out of
anything I ever read about celebrities.
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