We never even mentioned brioche! (AM)

The reason that I look at how people find there way to Miss Soft Crab is not because I am self obsessed. It's because I care about the world. About you guys. Deeply. I just want you to know that.

So the other day I was looking, again, at what search words brought people here. Of course there was the usual Ewan McGreggor's smile hunters (HAHA I said it again and brought you back again! SUCKERS!) But then there was something different. Fucking eggplant. It made me smile. "Gee, that person must have really been exasperated by an eggplant." I liked that. But then I suddenly realised that was not really a very realistic interpretation. I mean, someone gets exasperated by an eggplant and then Googles 'fucking eggplant'. It didn't make sense anymore. Surely they weren't looking for something about fucking eggplant. I mean it couldn't have been about acquiring knowledge of an eggplant in the carnal sense. Right? No-one would use the internet for that kind of thing, right? Right?

I felt afraid, confused, confronted by the thought, but the truth is that nothing could fill me with the confused, delighted horror that I had experienced a few weeks earlier when I found three little words in that list of search terms that had brought readers here, three words that had no business being together. Three words I couldn't write together at the time and sure as hell won't write together here now. Thank god K had no such qualms when I texted her about it.

Who? How? Why? What? When? WHY?! WHAT?!

I don't know the answer to any of these questions. Really, I don't want to write those words here in case people are searching that phrase right now. Body parts and breakfast breads! What was that person looking for? Why did there search bring them here? Wh... WH..WHY?!?!?! WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!